When looking back on my past two months in Bangkok, a word that comes to mind is HOPE. Living in this city, seeing and encountering the darkness here, I have found that it is easy to become discouraged and to feel a sense of hopelessness creeping in without warning. Since first arriving in Bangkok I have unintentionally developed a numbness to what I see around me everyday. Because of this, what was first hopelessness has slowly turned into a sense of apathy. Guarding myself with an apathetic attitude prevents hopelessness, but also interferes with the compassion that God has called me to show to the people of Bangkok. Lately though, I have seen God’s hope in places where I least expected it, showing me that numbness and apathy is not necessary for hope is what prevails.
Everyday as I walk down the street towards NightLight’s buildings I pass a homeless man wearing all but a tattered shirt and pants, with no shoes, flies hovering over his body. This man is unlike many of the other homeless men, women, and children of Bangkok, who spend their days sitting on the sidewalks holding empty McDonalds cup, begging for spare change. Every time I pass this man, he is face down on the pavement, lying amongst the various street vendors selling fruit and spring rolls, appearing more dead than alive. Usually when I walk past a beggar I feel nothing, knowing that by giving them money I am likely feeding into the mafia of this great city. And anyways, how do you choose which beggar to give money to and which to pass by without so much as a glance? But today when I walked past this man, for the first time I thought about what his life story is, and how he got to where he is today. How can this man experience hope?
Everyday I walk through one of Bangkok’s largest red light districts to get from language class to work. At first glace this district looks similar to many other parts of the city: big Westernized shopping malls, 7-elevens on every other block, and an interesting mix of American fast food and street vendors selling fruit and various Thai dishes. After dusk this area transforms into a whole new world, with flashing lights, loud music, and girls for sale at every street corner. However, even in the daylight there are still traces of the harsh realities hidden by the darkness of the night. One of the first things you will notice is the number of foreign “Farang” (Caucasian) men walking the streets. In the entertainment district sometimes it feels like I am no longer a visible minority. As I walk through the streets at lunch I pass numerous girls standing on the curb trying to catch the eye of a Farang man who will pay them for sex. Most of these girls work in the bars at night, and work the streets during the day to make some extra money. How will these beautiful women encounter the hope of God?
Last week I spent an afternoon sitting in Starbucks after work, enjoying a book. I find that Starbucks has become one of my “places,” where I can escape the big city and feel a little bit at home. After reading a few chapters I looked up and noticed that almost half of the people sitting around me were foreign men with significantly younger Thai women, assumed to be the commodity that they had purchased. It is hard to escape the reality of Bangkok’s booming sex industry. It is a darkness that is so vast that is reaches to the corners of this city, and standing face to face with it can sometimes feel defeating. But that is not to say that there is no hope here, for the red light districts of Bangkok.
Friday night. I walk into one of the largest industry areas in the city, where 30,000 women work in the bars every night. We walk into a bar and sit down on a bench beside the stage. It is only 9pm, so still too early for the bars to be busy. The Western club music is thumping in my chest as I look into the eyes of the girls on the stage, swaying back and forth wearing nothing but a string bikini. Their tops have small numbers on them, and as they dance for the foreign men, waiting to be chosen, their faces are sullen and emotionless. After their shift, the girls walk down the side of the stage and one girl comes and sits next to me. She begins to tell me the story of her life, immediately revealing her captivating smile. After 15 minutes the Mamasan makes a gesture towards her and she must go back onto the stage, but when her shift is over she comes and sits with me again, continuing our conversation.
Seeing this girl’s beautiful smile in the midst of this dark place and having the opportunity to talk to her gives me hope. Being able to smile and show kindness to the foreign men sitting next to me by God’s unfathomable grace gives me hope. Giving a homeless man something to eat and seeing his gratefulness gives me hope. Jesus gives me hope.
The past month at NightLight has brought many hard days. But that is not to say that there have not been many more good days. Everyday I am reminded of God’s faithfulness, His faithfulness to the people of Bangkok. Our God is good, and in Him, I have H O P E.
“Before you know it, his justice will triumph; the mere sound of his name will signal hope, even among far-off unbelievers.”
Matthew 12:21 MSG
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